Sunday, July 17, 2011

Harry Potter Recap. Sort Of.










My account of the entire Harry Potter series... don't hold me to this. I don't really pay attention.

So. There are 23 Harry Potter books that were made into 18 movies. J.K. Rowling wrote them all on a napkin while she was on the Amtrak. All the movie titles are called "Harry Potter and..." except the 15th one, "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief."

Ok. Basically, if you're a wizard you go to a special school because you're weird and you'd be bullied at public school, and probably turn someone into a burrito and then the school would get sued.

The main thing you need to know is that Harry should totally be with Hermoine but for some random reason she ends up with Ron, who's a ginger, so that doesn't even make sense.

The Bad Guy's named Valdemort and even though he has a snake nose, I've seen scarier.

Um....there are lots of potions/owls/candles/snakes/goblins and spiders.

Everybody defends themselves with wands. I don't really know why they don't use their wands to conjure up guns, I think that'd be more useful against giant spider attacks.

Harry is the only person with a normal name, and that is why he is the most powerful. Everybody else is named like Hingus Puddingfoot.

There is a good amount of running.

The greatest mystery is why nobody is talkin' about THIS dude, who was smokin' hot.


OK, maybe that's related to my lingering Adam Ant crush.





*****SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!******


Harry lives, Voldemort dies.

If I missed something, leave a comment.

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36 comments:

  1. SusanJuly 17, 2011 at 3:34 PM

    Oh, Adam Ant... how I loved him....

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  2. HeatherJuly 17, 2011 at 5:27 PM

    That Adam Ant guy *was* smoking hot. Especially in IMAX 3D.

    A brilliant review!

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  3. HannahJuly 18, 2011 at 12:20 AM

    I don't give a shit about Harry Potter. I haven't read one of the books or seen any of the movies. But I did get REALLY excited when I saw on my blogroll that you had posted. It had been FAR TOO LONG. Please, you keep me laughing, don't ever leave us for that long again!!

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  4. Elisa @ Crazy, Amazing LifeJuly 18, 2011 at 1:53 AM

    I think you did pretty good. After all, you mentioned the hot snatcher and the three main characters. And the nose-less guy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Elle The HeiressJuly 18, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Yeah, that's pretty much how I see it, too. Except I don't think that guy is hot.

    ReplyDelete
  6. choochooJuly 19, 2011 at 5:55 AM

    That pretty much sums it up

    ReplyDelete
  7. MerrieJuly 20, 2011 at 2:04 PM

    Puddingfoot. You had me at Puddingfoot. LOL
    Great recap. All HP did was make me feel inferior about my special skillz. Like being able to reach things on high shelves. Sorry, I can't fight off giant snakes or talk to them. I'm just tall.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AletaJuly 20, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    I love the summary! And the snake nose, I didn't even think about that. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mel Spillman artworkJuly 26, 2011 at 12:07 AM

    My Goodness that was simply delicious. Adam Ant is still one of my favorite crushes (Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran is the original gangster).

    Ron is a total gingy faig.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Junaid AhmedJuly 26, 2011 at 3:41 AM

    Nice One :p Like Your Blog Great Work

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  11. JustinJuly 27, 2011 at 1:39 AM

    You know I actually like the Harry Potter series but I love anything that makes fun of it like that! I have giggled ever since Ron was named a ginger...
    Good work my friend...

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  12. Junaid AhmedJuly 27, 2011 at 4:12 AM

    Please, you keep me laughing, don't ever leave us for that long again!!

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  13. LizzieAugust 3, 2011 at 9:02 AM

    perfect take on the series! ha ha

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  14. Henley on the HornAugust 11, 2011 at 9:47 AM

    You are too funny.

    ReplyDelete
  15. MYSUESTORIESAugust 13, 2011 at 10:13 PM

    I was really going to leave you a comment because you are great at this blog stuff,but then I saw you had 14 other comments...God, I hate being one of the crowd!.........anyway....your writing is great, if not scarce........and try to kill the Adam Ant obsession... not going any where!!!

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  16. AnonymousAugust 14, 2011 at 7:22 AM

    I love Harry Potter movies and I have watched all the series.

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  17. HaileyAugust 15, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    This has made my Monday! haha! Thanks for that laugh!

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  18. Loveable LoserAugust 20, 2011 at 2:06 PM

    HHR,
    Any words of wisdom for a 14 year old starting High school?

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  19. peadoodleAugust 28, 2011 at 5:09 PM

    hadn't thought of adam ant in years!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I Am BoymomSeptember 3, 2011 at 12:01 AM

    Not a Harry Potter follower, so was glad to see I had the same understanding of the series as someone else out there! Hilarious, as usual, Sue!

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  22. Anna LeflerJanuary 3, 2012 at 9:56 AM

    I have a lingering Adam Ant crush, too!

    *sigh*

    Just checking in to say hello, girl - hope all is well!

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