Twitter: Where All the Random Thoughts Go

I don't need to review what Twitter is again, right?

(Those of you not familiar with Twitter Recap go here:)

OK- onward...... my latest tweets:




"Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back to your man. Now back to me."
3:30 PM Feb 24th from Twhirl


9 year old: "Do retarded people know they're retarded?" Me: "no." (*pause*) "Am I retarded?"
10:30 AM Feb 24th from Twhirl


Dalai Lama says he's never heard of Tiger Woods. He does, however, know Rachel Uchitel.
7:30 PM Feb 21st from Twhirl


Tiger Woods' problem was his conversion from Buddism to Boobism.
11:30 AM Feb 19th from Twhirl


The only way I want to see Elin standing next to Tiger at his statement is if she's hitting him with a golf club.
9:05 AM Feb 19th from Twhirl


Also? If he says the words "sex addiction"? I'll hit my TV with a 3-iron.
9:05 AM Feb 19th from Twhirl


Another common movie phrase I will never utter in my life: "What IS this place??????"
7:30 PM Feb 18th from Twhirl


Catholic confession: If I see my crush coming Ash Wednesday I'm doing the spit n' swipe.
5:31 PM Feb 17th from Twhirl


Apparently my stomach has decided to celebrate Fat Tuesday.
5:16 PM Feb 16th from Twhirl



Hey look: more snow. *gunshot* *thud*
8:30 AM Feb 16th from Twhirl



8 year old: "What does hover' mean?" Other 8 year old: "When someone's all up in your business."
8:41 AM Feb 11th from Twhirl



LMAO RT: Sometimes the one you think is your knight in shining armor turns out to be a retard in tinfoil.
1:01 PM Feb 11th from Twhirl


Taylor Lautner is 18 today **sigh of relief** (#pedopheliaisnotfunny)
12:20 PM Feb 11th from Twhirl


Hmmm. I wonder if God is going to hold me to all those promises I made puking my guts out Saturday night. (#stomachflu)
1:06 PM Feb 8th from Twhirl


Hell YES I'm preparing for the snowstorm. Got to tan and get nails done before the roads get bad.
10:09 AM Feb 5th from Twhirl


9 y.o. had to use "credit" in a sentence. "My mom collects credit cards."
7:30 PM Feb 1st from Twhirl


My 3-word review of "Dear John": Channing Tatum *thud*.
9:30 PM Feb 1st from Twhirl


Ugh. Now I have to find out what an ipad is.
4:30 PM Jan 27th from Twhirl


OK girls: Embarrassing Crush time. I'll go first. Kid Rock.
5:18 PM Jan 26th from Twhirl


Vocal outrage has virtually no effect on my dog's farting.
3:33 PM Jan 25th from Twhirl


What u football people don't realize is Liz on Tough Love just found out that Dave was married before.
10:15 PM Jan 24th from Twhirl


Me to 9 year old: "Is that red marker, or is your nose bleeding?" Her: "marker."
5:01 PM Jan 24th from Twhirl


Me and "Evacuate the Dance Floor" are having kind of a thing.
6:30 PM Jan 22nd from Twhirl


Overstock.com customer service was A+. I think the guy on the phone impregnated me.
7:30 PM Jan 21st from Twhirl

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Twitter.com/HappyHourSue