#10. Watching my husband use his neti pot.
#9. Reading about how much money Dooce makes.
#8. Applying for a license replacement at the DMV with only 1 form of I.D.
#7. Trying to explain my computer problem to Dell phone support.
#6. Cleaning up kid vomit. The cherry-flavor Motrin kind.
#5. Having to retrieve something from the disposal with gunk still in there.
#4. Attending school Bingo night without having wine first.
#3. Driving behind Captain Slow & Careful when I'm already late.
#2. Trying on bathing suits in any store with light bulbs.
and the #1 Thing I'd Rather be Doing Than Having Sex With David Letterman:
Having sex with Jay Leno.
Leno? Really? The poofy gray hair doesn't remind you of your grandma?
ReplyDeleteCaptain Slow and Careful.... ha! Seems I'm always behind him!
ReplyDeleteGlad I'm not the only one who finds the thought of being with David Letterman repulsive.
ReplyDeleteThe poofy gray hair doesn't remind you of your grandma?
ReplyDeleteHow to make a website
Eeewww my brother-in-law has a neti pot. That's so gross and he looks like a total dork when he uses it.
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, I totally agree.
♥Gert
great list. i think i would do the same to avoid a tryst with letterman, but not numero uno. jay leno is one ugly duckling. his chin bothers me the most. i would have put jimmy, conan, and craig before jay. take care.
ReplyDeleteI love you-too funny, your old BFF Lynne
ReplyDeleteHILARIOUS. Jay Leno is way grosser than Letterman. At least Letterman is funny.
ReplyDeleteI actually had a little crush on Letterman when I was younger.
He's not hot but he's rich. And funny. Did I mention the funny part?
They are totally hot, what are you thinking? LOL!
ReplyDeleteIt's a toss up. Leno's chin'd get in the way, but no gap-tooth-whistling during happy time like with Letterman. Besides, you forgot non-anesthetized root canal, wouldn't have been number 1, but it would have been in there.
ReplyDeleteOMG, this is so funny. I totally agree with you. There are so many other things you could be doing then doing him.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a free moment then you should check out my latest blog post "I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU A FREE WEBSITE"
Hmmm, I would choose Letterman over Leno...beauty is only a light switch away!
ReplyDeleteEW....a neti pot!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd Im with you...I'd pick Jay over Letterman. Its a personality thing.
OMG - that was PERFECT.
ReplyDeleteVery funny...as always! Usually I don't comment...but when I saw the BFF sign off from Lynne I had to- because I thought I was your BFF! Jackie
ReplyDeleteThat was hilarious. And David Letterman's wife is so unattractive. He could have done better, guess he was trying to and gave up. LOL!
ReplyDeleteI got to say I'd rather have sex with Letterman than bingo without booze. But that's just me.
ReplyDeleteWell, he's been with her for 23 years, so I guess he gave up in 1986.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'd totally pick Dave over Jay, but they're both a little old for me. I agree, Dave is actually funny.
Too funny!
ReplyDeleteMust strongly disagree. If I had to chose it would definitely be Dave, even though he has a touch of skank. However, I would probably throw him over for Carson Daly, and does anyone remember Craig Claiborne? Delish. Oh, insomnia, I am your bitch.
ReplyDeleteI cant agree with the Leno thing but I do agree with most of he other's. I dont know how anyone could do Letterman but I guess to each their own. But just the thought grosses me out.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!! One of your best Happy Hour Sue!!!
ReplyDeleteHmph.
ReplyDeleteI'd actually rather have sex with David Letterman.
This post is hilarious!
Ooohhhhh, iiicccckkkkk, there's a visual!
ReplyDeleteOh gross...the neti pot. That is about the most unsexy thing to watch someone use. It is, however, hilarious. Especially when it's your husband.
ReplyDeleteLOL! oh my god. I laughed so hard this morning! I'm officially following you. Only if you promise to be funny.. for forever. :) :)
ReplyDeleteHAHA Thats great!
ReplyDeletebest top ten EVER! brilliant!
ReplyDeleteVery very good....you should send it to his show;)
ReplyDeleteman, i'm glad i wasn't eating when i read this list. blech to all!
ReplyDeleteEwww, Leno grosses me out...I'll take Letterman! :)
ReplyDeleteLol...that was awesome.
ReplyDeleteThis is too funny. I love the neti pot.
ReplyDeleteThe Neti-Pot....my Hubby uses one too. Ewww
ReplyDeleteI think I would take Leno over Letterman too!
Number one totally cracked me up. Leno? Really? Between the huge chin that would get in the way EVERY which way and the squeaky prepubescent voice (shudder!) that would sound even worse during the throes I don't think I could stop laughing the entire time.
ReplyDeleteBut at least you didn't say Paul Shaffer. (Ew)
PS- Long-time lurker, first time commenter. Hai!
You must have been driving behind my husband.
ReplyDeleteFreaking hilarious!! Read it to my husband and we were both dying!!
ReplyDeleteSue, if I had to choose Leno or Letterman...I choose watching you try on bathing suits with a light bulb! I am a little CREEPY that way.
ReplyDeleteFBF
Letterman could be gifted...Wtf is a neti-pot?
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! (I love my neti pot. I don't care how sexy it is.)
ReplyDeleteI'm using this prompt from Mama Kat's writing workshop.
LOL!! Great list!
ReplyDeleteSnorting with laughter!
ReplyDeleteYours is so succinct! I had to Google how to spell that word so it's no wonder that mine is like four pages long! But, good idea. Thanks for loaning it to Mama Kat!
ReplyDeleteI'd do Letterman before Leno anyday, of the two he is way less disgusting.
ReplyDeleteI would have to be VERY drunk, though.
Ok, had to look up Neti Pot. Basically a Nasal Enema.
ReplyDeleteNow that is a little Creepy
What makes you think he'd be interested in sleeping with you?
ReplyDeleteWow, "Anonymous"....someone got up on the wrong side of the internet...
ReplyDelete