Sunday, November 16, 2008

President of the "I Suck at Clubs" Club

So I went to Book Club Wednesday night.

Of course I hadn't read the book..cuz, you know, anything about Queens or kites or tents or Afghanistan or queens who run a kite shop out of a tent in Afghanistan...I just can't do it.

Luckily, there was lots of wine, so by the end of the night we were Googling James McEvoy and I had convinced the group to read "Twilight" next.
(Which, ROCKS BTW, for anyone still on the fence. Erotic, but no sex scenes - hard to explain - just trust me: here's your cup of Kool-aid.)

Anyway, I'm good at joining clubs, I'm just not good at adhering to the club requirements.

True story: when I was 8, I was a Brownie for one day, then quit. Who quits Brownies? With the cute outfit and all? I just remember thinking "This is lame - I'm out."


In college, my sorority threatened to kick me out for never coming to chapter meetings. Hello? Does perfect attendance at the parties count for NOTHING?? Ingrates.

"Hi. I have no time for chapter meetings. I'm too busy getting bloated from eating bagels and drinking Kahlua."


At our old country club in Connecticut, I got reprimanded for wearing tennis skirts and my ghetto hoop earrings to play golf.

When we moved to PA, my husband pressured me into joining "Newcomers Club". Sent in the check. Got the 'Welcome' newsletter. President's name was "Dot". Um...No. Deal-breaker, sorry.

And now? Now I have no need for clubs at all:
at

54 comments:

  1. BMLNovember 16, 2008 at 9:14 PM

    OMG I JUST started reading Twilight this weekend and I LOVE it. P.S. I just started reading your blog too and it makes me almost as happy. But not in an "erotic, but no sex scene" way. Though I totally get what you mean.

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  2. Piece o' Coconut CakeNovember 16, 2008 at 9:46 PM

    I'm scared to get Twilight...I get enough shit from my husband about the computer.

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  3. derfinaNovember 16, 2008 at 9:59 PM

    All right. I'm holding you personally responsible. I've been on the fence, but I just ordered all of the Twilight series on my Kindle. Now I'll just see for myself what all the fuss is about! *wink*

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  4. LipstickNovember 16, 2008 at 10:14 PM

    LOL! I love it...I have thought a book club would be fun, but I don't want to read the damn books. All that brooding, artsy nonsense. I haven't read anything without pictures since pharm school.

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  5. DawnNovember 16, 2008 at 10:24 PM

    LOL!! We have a LOT in common! I quit brownies too! I thought it was stupid.

    I also don't follow club rules very well either. I just got reprimanded for inviting friends on my facebook acct. to a night out at the movies with our moms club! Geez!!!

    The only reason I read Twilight is because our book club was going to read it. Otherwise, I'm not sure I would have. I was so not a vampire person. UNTIL NOW! LOL

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  6. JenniNovember 16, 2008 at 10:43 PM

    I am eagerly waiting for your post with giant cardboard Edward in your kitchen...

    And I am SO not a club person. I joined a book club 2 weeks ago...we haven't even met yet and I am already trying to weasel out of it? What was I thinking????

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  7. LuluNovember 16, 2008 at 11:00 PM

    that post was hilarious!! I just read it out loud to my husband across the room and he's laughing too:)

    Great blog!!!!

    lulu

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  8. Simply ShannonNovember 16, 2008 at 11:13 PM

    I quit Brownies too! I lasted a little longer than you did though..not much, but a little.

    I promise I will read Twilight soon. Just gotta wait for my next check.

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  9. SusanNovember 16, 2008 at 11:19 PM

    Hubby was a boy scout for a day... I was the same about my sorority (they were trying to get rid of me.. I was too much fun!)

    I'm on the fence about twilight because my 11 yo wants to see the movie because a classmate is reading it... Should I read it to make sure it's inappropriate for my 11 year old????

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  10. nikkicrumpetNovember 17, 2008 at 12:14 AM

    OH my....didn't you get the memo about the bloggers club requirements. Please get a paper, pencil (#2 of course) and write these down......

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  11. MerrieNovember 17, 2008 at 12:16 AM

    I do not understand why I am NOT in a book club -- it makes no sense. I guess I should start one?

    For what it's worth, I hated girl scouts. It was clear to me that our troop sucked when we made home made air fresheners at one meeting: tangerines with cloves stuck in them. To this day I detest cloves.

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  12. MammaDawgNovember 17, 2008 at 1:44 AM

    :) Definitely a cup of kool-aid. Or maybe a gallon!

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  13. Erin JeannineNovember 17, 2008 at 3:17 AM

    I wanted to quit Brownies because my mom made me wear that stupid beanie, even though no one else had to.

    And I only want to be in a book club so I don't have to drink alone, but if you're going to add to all that goodness with "Twilight" being the required reading, then I'm in for sure!

    And I'd never quit. At least I wouldn't admit to it. I'd just stop showing up and let everyone wonder.

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  14. Michelle Fluttering ButterfliesNovember 17, 2008 at 6:12 AM

    Googling James McEvoy and discussing Twilight is a MUCH better way to spend an evening!

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  15. MegNovember 17, 2008 at 7:00 AM

    I love this "computer club" too, but I miss drinking wine with the other members.

    As for Twilight, it may be the first book Teen and I read together.

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  16. JenNovember 17, 2008 at 7:24 AM

    Could not have said it better! I don't see anything wrong with tennis skirts and hoop earrings!?!

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  17. Linda SNovember 17, 2008 at 7:31 AM

    there you go...bloggy club. and you da president! or court jester. or bartender. or they are all the same thing.

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  18. Gettysburg MomNovember 17, 2008 at 8:11 AM

    I didn't get the chance to quit Brownies... they kicked me out. Something about challenging authority. Maybe my parents should have taken it as an omen for the teenage years...

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  19. AnonymousNovember 17, 2008 at 8:43 AM

    Twilight, such a follower. Simply cannot get into New Moon, maybe I should pick up Harry Potter and call it a day.

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  20. UnknownNovember 17, 2008 at 8:54 AM

    I.Loved.The.Twilight series!

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  21. Mama DawgNovember 17, 2008 at 9:16 AM

    Amen, sister!

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  22. sassy stephanieNovember 17, 2008 at 9:40 AM

    Dot? Oh yeah. That would have sealed the deal for me too. Only, I would have never even sent the check.

    TWILIGHT totally rocks. Obsessed over heyah.

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  23. Former Fat ChickNovember 17, 2008 at 10:00 AM

    I was asked NOT to come back to brownies...something about sneeking off and swiming in a lake while on a camping trip...the work Ring LEader was used alot...

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  24. TiffanyNovember 17, 2008 at 10:23 AM

    Twilight fucking rocks. Although a few sex scenes would have been AWESOME!! Damn young adult novels!

    So are you obsessed with Edward and Robert Pattinson like I am? Or are you still a Joe fan? LOL

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  25. RochelleNovember 17, 2008 at 11:35 AM

    Yeah, Dot would be a deal breaker. Oops...I meant "yes" (Whines & Wines blog reference - join the club & read it! http://whinesandwines.blogspot.com/2008/11/5-year-olds-discuss-grammar.html)

    Love the "I love my computer" cartoon. So true.

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  26. Mrs. BoomsNovember 17, 2008 at 11:48 AM

    That read exactly the way I would write about my ability to attend any kind of club.

    I'm a super under-achiever in that area.

    And most others too.

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  27. AliNovember 17, 2008 at 12:14 PM

    I'm all about reading, until someone tells me I have to! ::patiently waiting for my sister to finish first Twilight book so I can join in all the fun::

    ReplyDelete
  28. LeighNovember 17, 2008 at 12:36 PM

    LOL! I'm so glad that you can join the feelin-pervy-lusting-after-a-17-year-old club. Can I join the sucking-at-clubs-club? I promise to quit if it gets too hard. :)

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  29. CarolineNovember 17, 2008 at 1:08 PM

    Love the pic! I don't do clubs...I am way to hip and individual. OK, I am just too lazy!!!

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  30. AnonymousNovember 17, 2008 at 1:09 PM

    Thought you were Jonas Bro club memeber?

    What about Wine of the month Club?

    More PMP's than bagels during College. You were still hot.

    KK GG...I am so happy that I am a....or is that was a?

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  31. McMommyNovember 17, 2008 at 2:21 PM

    I quit tennis when I was 7. Why? Because it made me "sweat too much". How lame is that?!

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  32. RachelNovember 17, 2008 at 2:55 PM

    rules smules! they are meant to be broken right...just ask BT gangsta!

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  33. AnonymousNovember 17, 2008 at 2:59 PM

    I also quit Brownies. Would have rather ripped my eyebrows off than join a sorority...I just went to all the frat parties. Love to read, but won't join a book club because I don't like being told what to read. But I am going to try Twilight. I hate hearing everybody talk about it and not understanding what all of the fuss is about.

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  34. jaimeNovember 17, 2008 at 3:25 PM

    the only club i belong to is the one i joined on Facebook called "moms who drink and swear"....need i say more? lol!

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  35. Type A DebNovember 17, 2008 at 3:34 PM

    Aah, the Kahlua bell curve. Now that's something you were very successful at! :)

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  36. Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) MommyNovember 17, 2008 at 5:28 PM

    Yes, I would definitely join a book club if it only consisted of getting together and drinking wine and having a blast.

    AS for Twilight, I was also on the fence, but I think after I finish the two books I have in queue, I will move on to Twilight.

    All cause of you lady!

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  37. AnonymousNovember 17, 2008 at 5:37 PM

    Well don't forget the Twilight movie comes out this Friday ladies!

    Great post and hilarious.

    Gee who knew there were so many Brownie quitters out there...

    Might be the beginning of a club...

    hmmm

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  38. The Nice OneNovember 17, 2008 at 7:05 PM

    LOVE the pic from the college days ;)
    Yes, you are spot on about Twilight. That's why I watch True Blood, to fill in the nitty gritty sex scene parts ;)

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  39. BrittanyNovember 17, 2008 at 8:05 PM

    Word. I only go to clubs to drink and eat. But mostly drink.

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  40. UnknownNovember 17, 2008 at 9:36 PM

    I try not to join any clubs. It's too organized for me. That just kills all the fun.

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  41. DebNovember 17, 2008 at 9:44 PM

    Isn't the whole point of a book club to NOT read the books?

    But, if it is Twilight, that is a completely different story. Loved that book.

    I haven't been by in a while. I'm an idiot and erased my blogroll by accident. I suck.

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  42. DebNovember 17, 2008 at 9:45 PM

    Oh, but now I'm back!

    ReplyDelete
  43. 6 Happy HeartsNovember 17, 2008 at 10:21 PM

    Hi my name is Jen & I'm addicted to Twilight! I think, dream & talk Twilight. I ignore my kids, hubby & housework just to re-read the books before the movie on Friday. Who knew teenage vampires who don't drink or have sex could be so enthralling?!
    I also quit brownies & tennis?!?!
    My Dad is still ranked through USTA & still reminds me I'm a quitter...ugh??!!
    I found your blog through Rachel who found me through Dawn. Such a small blogging world ; )
    FYI...the only reason I read Twilight is that Dawn went on & on about it. I blame her for my addiction : )

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  44. Miss YvonneNovember 17, 2008 at 11:14 PM

    Twilight is the bomb dot com. But at first I could only read it in secret, because my niece made me start it and I was all "yeah, this should be awesome"...eye roll. And then I got two chapters in and I was all "YEAH THIS IS AWESOME!". And that's about when I felt like a dirty old lady for wanting to lick Edward.

    Now I see that there are oodles of dirty old ladies just like me. Ahhh, I love blogging. I fit in so well here!

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  45. JenniferNovember 18, 2008 at 12:12 AM

    I don't know why I've been avoiding Twilight--I know all the cool kids are doing it.

    OK--I'll put it in my queue.

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  46. AnonymousNovember 18, 2008 at 12:26 AM

    lol! I just can't stop laughing at the 'I love my computer' pic. Maybe I laughed because I know how true it can be.

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  47. JenNovember 18, 2008 at 8:52 AM

    That first paragraph about the tents and kites totally cracked me up. It is one of the many reasons I gave you an award. Stop by my place to pick it up.

    PS Glad you enjoyed Twilight.
    PSS Here's all the McAvoy you will ever need:

    http://dailymishmash.com/2008/james-mmmm-mcavoy/

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  48. BBBNovember 19, 2008 at 4:41 PM

    There's enough people here to fully warrent a "I Quit Brownies Club"... i could so join.

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  49. HeatherNovember 20, 2008 at 9:41 AM

    I don't blame you for not reading that book. I've tried Phillipa Gregory and I'm not in love.

    So far, I am refusing the kool-aid just because I hate following the crowd.

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  50. TenakimNovember 20, 2008 at 1:32 PM

    ME TOO- I suck at clubs- can I join?

    On the sorority front- they didn't kick me out, they just convinced me to "deactivate"- meetings were a bit tedious.

    I don't read, but everyone and their brother talks about that book! I'll have to catch the movie.

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  51. Scary MommyNovember 22, 2008 at 6:17 PM

    I've resisted thus far, but think I may cave. You have just pushed me to the dark side.

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  52. NatalieNovember 24, 2008 at 6:25 PM

    I definitely quit Brownies after one day too. We can't all be completely involved, can we? Too crowded. I'll make room.

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  53. NatalieNovember 24, 2008 at 6:25 PM

    I definitely quit Brownies after one day too. We can't all be completely involved, can we? Too crowded. I'll make room.

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  54. Lisa-liciousDecember 9, 2008 at 1:42 AM

    So, THATS why I am bloated. It's the BAGELS and KAHLUA!

    Going to parties is all we do in our "mommy clubs"...we look for ANY EXCUSE!!! We have a Bunco group where we have never played the game, a prayer group where it seems we pray for new flavors of vodka to be invented, and there are always the parties where you can shop for things you don't really need and get tipsy as you write the checks. You've blogged about those already.
    I am on my way to the bookstore to get Twilight. Too much pressure from all the moms, and now you.

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