This is me, shopping at Target:
Shopping objective: 1 tea kettle: $15
Actual purchase: 1 tea kettle, 3 laundry baskets, 1 pair flip-flops, 2 pair kids' sneakers, 1 pack men's socks, 1 sports bra, 3 dish towels, 1 bathroom rug, 3 tank tops on sale, 1 pair sunglasses, 2 pair earrings, 1 set margarita glasses, 1 photo album, 1 clock radio, 2 birthday cards, 3-pack scotchtape, 1 fall wreath, 2 pumpkin candles and 1 candy bowl with moving creepy hand that says "Happy Halloween":
$249.85.
That's all I need.
Actual purchase: 1 tea kettle, 3 laundry baskets, 1 pair flip-flops, 2 pair kids' sneakers, 1 pack men's socks, 1 sports bra, 3 dish towels, 1 bathroom rug, 3 tank tops on sale, 1 pair sunglasses, 2 pair earrings, 1 set margarita glasses, 1 photo album, 1 clock radio, 2 birthday cards, 3-pack scotchtape, 1 fall wreath, 2 pumpkin candles and 1 candy bowl with moving creepy hand that says "Happy Halloween":
$249.85.
That's all I need.
What, no Ped-Egg?
ReplyDeleteMy visits to Target end up the same way!!
ReplyDeleteYep...same thing happens to me...except, I always forget to buy the 2 things I went there for and end up with $250 of stuff I don't need! Target is genius!
ReplyDeleteI love that movie and I seem to have a similar problem when I go to Target. Except I do manage to keep my pants on...
ReplyDeleteUghhhh, they're as bad as Costco!
ReplyDeleteFirst: Thanks for that blog link. That sort of simple design is what I'm after. Rock on.
ReplyDeleteNext: That is PRECISELY why I have banned myself from target. It's so hard. Right now I am having Target withdrawals. I am about to look through the Sunday circular, which will trigger the shakes and possibly some drooling. It's not a pretty thing....
That is exactly what happens to me at Wal Mart.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have a Target here, I have to settle for Wally World. Which means I only spend $70 instead of $250, and I get stuff that is twice as crappy.
Happens to the best of us.
ReplyDeletethat's where i have to go to today...and also why i go w/ only cash on me...and a certain amount. therefore i won't go crazy
ReplyDeleteI know!!! me + you = target junkies. that was dumb, sorry.
ReplyDeleteYep, my daughter and I agree...that's about right.
ReplyDeleteI was born a poor black child too and seem to have the same Target problems you do!
ReplyDeleteI love that scene in The Jerk. I say that all the time. All I need is one piece of chocolate. And a cookie. Thats all I need one piece of chocolate and a cookie. And a slice of cake. And maybe a scoop of ice cream....
ReplyDeleteI find it 100% impossible to go to Target and NOT spend over $100.00
LOL funny how that works!
ReplyDeleteYeah, that sounds about right.
ReplyDeleteAmen sister. It's an addiction... 4 days after c-section with first daughter, where was I? At Target. It's sick, really, because I have created 2 Target Monsters. They could be addicted to, yanno, Macy's or something though, so I'm looking on the positive side...
ReplyDeleteThat is how Target stays in business ;)
ReplyDeleteI feel lucky if I can get out for under $100--even when I go for 'just' dental floss!
i do this same thing, but luckily it only ends up being about $100 in shit i don't need.
ReplyDeleteMy husband says Target has a $100 cover charge----if he's lucky!
ReplyDeleteMy Target visits are exactly the same, I have to space mine out!
ReplyDeleteIt's a law that you can't leave Target without buying 12 things you didn't intend on getting when you first walked in...
ReplyDeleteLOVE that movie! That's the way I shop. And I get to the register thinking, Now did I really need those cute little undies for Miss Missy to add to her thousand of others?
ReplyDeleteThat's because Target is the devil. And it's out to get you (and me...They built one less than a MILE from my house...send help...)
ReplyDeleteSame thing for me!!! It is just ridiculous. I keep telling myself the next time will be different, but it never is.
ReplyDeletebrilliant Jerkish of you..
ReplyDeleteI do believe (i do) that there is an emission of nicotine/crack (depending on the location of the target) that flows through the vents at this place.
Oh man. I'm with ya. For me, Sam's Wholesale is the same way.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby tells me Home Depot is "his Target".
Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThat's how I am when I go there too! I think it may be an illness.
I actually went to Target today in an attempt to buy a Halloween costume for my daughter. We had zero luck finding anything and as we were walking out my 5 yr old son said
ReplyDelete"Wait, we can't leave! We don't have anything in the cart yet!!!!"
Yes, I managed to make it out of Target without spending a dime. I'm still somewhat in shock. I think that was a first for me.
what is it about Target that gets us to buy all this stuff that we didn't think we needed.
ReplyDeleteWhy I don't shop!
ReplyDeleteLOL--I always do the "Jerk" routine at Target too. Halloween time is worst-- can't get out of there w/out a zombie or 2!
ReplyDeleteYes, Target is evil and gives me an orgasm at the very same time.
ReplyDeleteSounds a lot like most of my ex-boyfriends...
Target gets me every time. The wife and I will walk in to get a couple items and then we get sucked into buying 500 other things that we find on sale or on clearance that we "need".
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you came out with the tea kettle puts you ahead of me!
ReplyDeleteI blame Target for our current financial crisis.
ReplyDeleteI was born a poor black man.... best movie ever!
That's what Target is for. Something about Target makes me feel as if I have to spend money there. Whatever they do, they do well.
ReplyDeleteI would have ended up with the same stuff -- except since it's October, would have added a bag of mallowcreme pumpkins and one Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the cat litter.
ReplyDeleteSame thing happens to me with Target. Except, I usually get so carried away buying things I really don't need, that I forget to buy whatever it is I went to Target for in the first place. Which means a return trip. It's all a very vicious cycle!
ReplyDeleteHow does this happen......and why does it happen to so many of us? The item I need is typically at the back of the store---great marketing ploy, Target!
ReplyDeleteI hate it...well, my wallet hates it...I love unpacking those bags of goodies from Target. Then I go back for more abuse.
So right there with you, in fact, I just posted about my need to join a 12 step Target program last night!
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that a trip for "a couple of things" turns out to be everything we didn't KNOW we needed but had to have?
DH and I joke that Target has a $100 cover charge!
You are a no-reply blogger! I cannot respond to your post via email!!!
ReplyDeleteThe strangest thing about our weird connection is that I just posted a comment on YOUR Target post, probably as you were reading mine!
shoot me an email at mommylearnstoblog (at) gmail (dot) com.
I'm on my way to FB to request you as my friend!
BTW, I feel like a celebrity, what with the uber-cool Happy Hour Sue leaving a most on my little blog!
ReplyDeleteCheck this out...
ReplyDeletehttp://wheezerscheeze.blogspot.com/2008/05/things-i-am-looking-forward-to-back-in.html
My love for Tar-jay knows no boundaries.
That's one of my favorite movie scenes of all time. We are Targetless in my town. Pity me.
ReplyDeleteI am happy there are no Targets up here in Canada. That place is the black hole I tell ya!
ReplyDeleteOh how I love Target! At least you actually went for something you need, my trips are 99% want based.
ReplyDeleteI went in for a notebook that I was short for school supplies. It was back to school time and school supplies were in th very back corner of the store. As I walked through the housewares, the children's department, health and beauty, and cleaning supplies, I was thinking "it's back to school, if they were smart they would put it right in the front of the store!" Then as I checked out with my notebook and 20 other items, I realized hey are waaaay smarter than me!
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with Target....I call it the $100 store; can't get in and out without spending atleast $100 bucks!
ReplyDeleteWell...give yourself some props, girl! The tank tops were on sale!!!
ReplyDeletethat was very to add that movie clip to show how you shop. I too shop like that at Target. I think I am the reason for there success.
ReplyDeleteI am picking out a thermos for you, no ordinary thermos will do.
ReplyDeleteIs there a lot of Tea being consumed at your house these days?
Performance Fleece has a trainer...there will never be another EWE!
Which is exactly why I just stay home at have a cocktail instead. It's really much more cost efficient.
ReplyDeleteUmmm....should have said which is why I stay at home AND just have a cocktail instead.
ReplyDeleteOne of these days, I might try proofreading BEFORE posting a comment.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyone who cites the Jerk is my best friend for life!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like my trips to Target! Especially if little one is with me. I'm just impressed you came home with what you went for! :)
ReplyDelete(Love your blog - can't remember how I got here - but definitely have to keep reading!!)
LOL
ReplyDeleteSounds like my trip on Friday! I went to pick up a prescription. I was told to come back in 15 minutes. Even though I was with my husband (he didn't stop me!), I ended up with 2 area rugs, 2 outdoor mats, 1 comforter, 1 sheet set, and a chair & bench from their mission collection. Oh! And hair gel.
Oh, my God - YES. My husband doesn't know it, but I've set up a direct deposit deal - his paychecks go straight to Target. Shhh!
ReplyDeleteOne time I went to Target and the lady's total in front of me was something like $674.76.
ReplyDeleteIt made my $50 purchase seem insignificant.
Awesome.
Okay, I'll stop complaining that the nearest Target is an hour away!
ReplyDelete*sigh*
ReplyDeleteYou're me.
Can I please send you my guinea pig? I will buy you fancy soap in exchange.... I promise.
ReplyDeleteOh my. This is so me. My trips to anywhere turn out like this.
ReplyDeleteAmen Sista!
ReplyDeleteOh, that was too funny! And so ridiculously accurate...except I would look all giddy with delight, aimlessly searching end caps and humming happy tunes (as opposed to depressed and angry like The Jerk)! :)
ReplyDeleteLove the "cover charge" quotes. My defense is always, "It's cheaper than therapy...plus, now we have toilet paper!"
HAHA! Yeah. I thought I had escaped Target's mind-melding clutches when I moved but now a super target is opening right down the road! Oh no!
ReplyDeleteI love this post, I loved that movie! That is our huge family joke! I have the same problem at Target, Walmart, Dollar General. We have finally realized that the price of going to the store is always the same, no matter what you buy...$100.
ReplyDeleteOh I love Target. I just happened to stop there last night for a $200 bottle of laundy detergent.(and a cart full of fun)
ReplyDeleteI work at Target and I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from. Honestly the same thing happens to me too.
ReplyDeleteomg, that is great. loves it.
ReplyDeletei heart target. <3