This is Dooce.
For those of you who don't know, Dooce is the über-blogger. The high priestess of the personal blog genre. Attendees of the BlogHer '08 conference were "too nervous to approach her" at cocktail hour.
So she gets millions (literally - millions) of hits a month and has 13,000 followers on Twitter.
And she has to close her comments at 700.
And she has corporate sponsors and 2 book deals.
And was written about in Glamour magazine.
And she was on the Today Show and is listed in Wikipedia.
And her husband was able to quit his job to help her run her blog empire, and subsequent plan to rule the world.
And she has the cheekbones of a supermodel, and looks like she should be in a movie with Hugh Grant about weddings.
But.
Does she have...
THESE??????
Yeah. That's all I'm sayin'.
Yes--Dooce is a force to be reckoned with. It's mind boggling, really.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm--so by "these" are you talking about the sunglasses or the cleavage? Or something else entirely that I'm too dumb to pick up on!?
P.S. I'm adding you to my blogroll!
So yeah...the vodka is en-route. As are the glasses. I'm going to need it!!! You kill me.... you are just going to have to pick me up off the floor now. I love your sense of humor. And you are totally invited over to my house, my new apt. once we get it all "spiffied" up, and we can have a drink at my new table! ;)
ReplyDeleteYes, with the ta-tas, you shall single-handedly crumble the dooce empire.
ReplyDeleteHeck, with my nursing ta-tas, together, we could rule the world!
Hilarious. Dooce is basically a corporation. Fun blog, I'll be put you on my roll. Love the action figure guy!
ReplyDeletei never even heard of dooce until i went to one of the blogs i read. really. and that was just not too long ago.
ReplyDeletethis was a hilarious post...i'm sure dooce doesn't have as great of ta-tas or sunglasses LOL :)
That's a great pair of sunglasses! What ev! I've never heard of this Douche. I'm all about happy Hour Sue.
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, I've never seen those on her style section!
ReplyDeletehaha nobody can mess with a woman with cleavage. That is a fact!
ReplyDeleteWicked tatas trump corporate sponsors any day of the week!
ReplyDeleteWell, crap!
ReplyDeleteI don't have the sponsers OR the cleavage! LOL!
Work it girl!!!
ReplyDeleteHELLZ NO SHE DON'T!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I double-dog dare ya to show her so at BlogHer next year.
You boobalicious chicks make me sick. In a good way. Or not.
ReplyDeleteFun-to-read DOES NOT EQUAL Fun-to-read-with-fun-bags!
ReplyDeleteSUECE is the new DOOCE!
Oooh, someone sounds a little jealous...
ReplyDeleteToo fn funny!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my...what BIG booo errr sunglasses you have....you go girl
ReplyDeleteOmg! This cracked me up. Seriously I've been reading your blog for like maybe a week & I am beyond hooked! I have never even heard of dooce before so she can't be that great haha! Plus you were recommended by google reader so take that Dooce!
ReplyDeleteI am so adding you to my blog roll. I can no longer resist!
Well, don't you have some super great boobies! I like you way better than Dooce the blog queen.
ReplyDeleteyou win! Boobs down!
ReplyDeleteI hadn't heard of her until I saw the Today show with her on it (but then again, I'm an idiot)- I recall Kathie Lee kinda not digging her and the blogging- I DID NOT, however remember a rack like that on her... and I think I would have remembered that!
ReplyDeleteYou go girl -- she could never measure up to those or mine LOL! Love it love reading your post.
ReplyDeleteI just went to Dooce for the first time. I must admit YOU are WAY funnier. I ALWAYS laugh at your blog...some of her's--not so much. (Note to self--always post anonymously if you are speaking evil of Dooce. I heard she has almost as much power as Oprah!)
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! :D
ReplyDeleteDid I just see a gratuitous boob shot?!
ReplyDeleteAmen Sista'!
ReplyDeleteThis is what I'm wondering almost every day. (Maybe I should try doing THAT in front of my mirror. The magnified side.)
That's impressive!!!
You forgot to mention her chin, its like a ski slope !!
ReplyDelete#1
I would like to thank you, and all women bloggers everywhere who decide to have cleavage as a feature in their post.
ReplyDeleteIt's people like you who make the world a brighter place for all of us.
*sniff*
1- This is how you end up with those MILF commenters... do you miss him?
ReplyDelete2- Dooce's husband probably wishes she was you, too...
Ha, she isn't perfect afterall! I knew it!
ReplyDeleteMcMommy should watch the double dog dare.. it might be considered a threat. Did you read the latest entry on her hubby's blog? They seem to take those very seriously.
Oh, my. I don't swing that way but I'm impressed.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, I'm pretty sure she doesn' those. But I'm sure she wishes she does!
The necklace? Maybe. If she's got millions.
ReplyDeleteNice knockers. ; )
And hey...you've got me and Dooce doesn't. How 'bout them apples?
hey! i got that. the brighton necklace i mean.
ReplyDeleteoh. and the hooters too.
That's what I'm talkin' about!! You go girl with your boobalicious self!! You're too funny!
ReplyDeleteDooce who? I've never heard of her... Besides, I can't really be bothered to check out the site of someone that should be in a movie with Hugh Grant (you're totally right about that). I have a feeling she doesn't compare anyway...
Those babies sure can take you places. LOL
ReplyDeleteYou go girl!!! I say use what you got--not that I would ever show my cleavage on my blog.
ReplyDeleteoh Sue..I love you! You are so funny! I'll take great ta ta's over ruling the blog world any day! Kisses!
ReplyDeleteDont get #1 started on Doocebag. She will go off for days.
ReplyDeleteI don't see what the big fuss is about her. Big deal. Everytime I have gone to her page her comments are closed. Screw that.
Are you serious no one would approach her? ROFLMAO that is too funny.
and BTW I dont think she has those either. You beat her by a mile.
peace
#2
LMAO! I love it - and ditto to The Mom - "Seuce is the new Deuce!!"
ReplyDeleteOh she can buy "sunglasses" like those anywhere. ;)
ReplyDeleteI was going to make a Mr. Peterman joke, but that would be inappropriate
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh. Sorry about that comment.I'm supposed to be a good Christian girl and I just called you a name. It was said in jest, so I hope you'll forgive me and my Christian mom bloggers will too.
ReplyDeleteJust gave you an award..make your way my way and pick it up!
ReplyDeleteNot once has my husband said anything about cheekbones. It's always the boobs!
ReplyDeleteWhat? Those sunglasses?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'd be too nervous to approach those -er - I mean you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about Dooce, but I wish I had your boobs. Is that weird to say in comments?
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteI've never even read her stuff. Who needs corporate sponsors and book deals when you have grand and glorious hooters.
Your 'bubbles' are beautiful BTW
(as my daughter would say)
IF 700 comments means you have hit it big, I quit. LOL. You people on here are funny. I laughed more reading the comments. Love your blog
ReplyDeleteBeautimous. Very good.
ReplyDeleteI must live on another planet...I have not heard of Goddess Dooce. I must go investigate....
Hysterical - so glad I found your blog!
ReplyDeleteLike I said before, I started following blogs when I saw Dooce on Today, but only because I stumbled into Happy Hour. Have only checked back on Dooce once to see if I was missing something. Uh... no.
ReplyDeleteYou have spoiled me with your hip wit. I still laugh about someone's "flava sava" comment on BG. I get my street smarts here; thanks! Now go get some sponsors!!
I enjoyed that entirely too much.
ReplyDeletetoo funny! She's probably buying them right now...
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious! Nice rack too! Must say, I wish I was you with those!
ReplyDeleteJen
I would MUCH rather have major (pronounced ala Victoria Beckman) knockers than make 1/2 million dollars a year.
ReplyDeleteMaybe.
When did they start making sunglasses under the brand name Knockers? Nice pair ;)
ReplyDeleteYou forgot... and she makes $40,000 a month.
Nice gig if you can get it.
I agree with the other folks, you are funnier than Dooce and I don't lie.
Ok, I'll probably be publically hanged for saying this, but...Dooce? I don't get it. I have read many posts over there. And not one of them has made me OMGLOL. You, on the other hand? Tons of LOLs. And I'm jealous of your boobs. Are you hiding BG in there somewhere? Is he going to be at the party? I need pictures!
ReplyDeleteI used to have a nice set of 40 C's.......now I have a set of 42 longs......but they still get attention when they are in their underwire holster.....
ReplyDeleteyou make me laugh, thank god! it is monday morning the rain rains and the house is about to erupt with all the children and the nonsense, thanks for starting my day off on the funny note :) R
ReplyDeleteSweetie...you are forgetting the most important part...Dooce's hubby may get to quit his job, but he does not get to rub up on those bodacious boobylicious boobies of yours! ha-ha my husband was a butt man until I bought the most beautiful rack on the planet for myself, now he argues with himself as to which he likes MORE! wa-haha...boobs or butt...butt or boobs...
ReplyDeleteNo offense, but I really don't see the appeal. Dooce's appeal I mean, not... the other things ;-) I definitely see the appeal of those - got some myself ;-)
ReplyDeleteThose ta-tas CRUSH Dooce.
ReplyDeleteHa. No, she does not. And neither do I. :) And she would quickly agree with you as it is a frequent post topic of hers (or used to be.)
ReplyDeleteLMAO! She has nothing on you!
ReplyDeleteYou know that she totally could afford the boob job though, if she wanted.
ReplyDeleteUntil that day, you're totally one-boob-up (or two) on her ~
That is great. I would much rather party with you during Happy Meals and Happy Hour than Dooce- any day.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't know but I think she has pretty nice teeth too. Oh wait, that's not what you are referring to, is it? ; )
ReplyDeleteHahahaha, what's all that fame and fortune with out huge jugs anyways ;).
ReplyDeleteNice necklace.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's it. I bet Dooce doesn't have a nice necklace like that.
And Dooce? Totally needs to see a brow shaper/waxer.
Yes!! BEEEEAUTIFUL Glasses! They look real also. Not like those cheap knock-offs! ;^)
ReplyDeleteKnock out! I'm down with a one-two punch in the eyeballs. Ouch...that hurt but felt good at the same time.
ReplyDeleteWell played, and Dooce has nothing on you.
LMAO.Hahahah. Yeah it looks like Dooce does not have THOSE;)
ReplyDeleteYou go girl!
Just need to know, because I don't want to keep staring at your boobs inappropriately.....is that a Judith Ripka necklace and did you take that from my jewelry box?
ReplyDeleteI tried to pay my cell phone bill with my boobs once. The woman said I was not funny. Come on. Boobs rule.
I hope you haven't closed off comments on this one but here goes anyway. I'm sorry, but I think Dooces blog is a bit shit really and you are FAR more entertaining - her life's quite mundane really compared to your terrorist lovin, alcohol and drug abusing, big boobied exploits. I hate being advertised at while I'm trying to read, I cant hack the arty farty little pics, I cant tell whats her blog and whats just crap really. She should stick to crappy books and leave blogs to those of us who are too pissed (and or drugged or large breasted) to hold a book.
ReplyDeleteI just want to say that I really dislike Dooce and I absolutely do not understand her appeal.
ReplyDelete