Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Jesus Checks In












Jesus: Wazaaaaaaaaap.
Me: !! GOD you scare me when you do that.
Jesus: Language.
Me: Sorry.
Jesus: So. I saw Santa's 'Naughty List'...
Me: What? Where?
Jesus: Office party.
Me: So? - he doesn't keep track of adults.
Jesus: Actually he does, and tells me.
Me: Awesome.
Jesus: (gets out file) Shall we?
Me: I'm kinda busy. I was just going to write Christmas cards.
Jesus: No you weren't. You were going to watch VH1's Sex Rehab.
Me: WHILE I was cleaning the kitchen.
Jesus: L.O.L.
Me: You can't say "L.O.L" You can only write it.
Jesus: (opens file)....OK. Same stuff as last time...."language"..... "laziness"...... "lust"...... "lust:(inappropriate)".....care to explain that one?
Me: I.......... nope.
Jesus: "Trainer": How old.
Me: Twennnnnyyyy....eight?
Jesus: "Deli guy"
Me: I'm gonna say 21.
Jesus: "Taylor Lautner".
Me: Turning 18 in February.
Jesus: Do you see what I'm saying?
Me: I'm on it. Won't happen again.
Jesus: L.O.L.
at

29 comments:

  1. UnknownDecember 17, 2009 at 1:20 AM

    There was a reason why I added you to my blogroll ... lol!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tiffany TweedieDecember 17, 2009 at 1:29 AM

    Taylor Lautner is the same age as my son.

    My kids are totally harshing my cougar-groove. Damn kids!

    ReplyDelete
  3. KurtDecember 17, 2009 at 7:20 AM

    There's a name for boy's who have sex with older women when they are 17.

    "Hero."

    ReplyDelete
  4. CathyDecember 17, 2009 at 7:43 AM

    I can't wait for it to be February.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ErinDecember 17, 2009 at 9:32 AM

    Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Former Fat ChickDecember 17, 2009 at 10:33 AM

    OMG! Sue...I heard there is a cougar cruise...um, we NEED to look into that!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousDecember 17, 2009 at 11:13 AM

    Shouldn't the Lord be saying "FOL"

    Forgive out Loud

    or was he saying Lust out Loud?

    ReplyDelete
  8. kristiDecember 17, 2009 at 1:21 PM

    ok that was hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  9. NataliDecember 17, 2009 at 1:54 PM

    HA!!!! Thanks for making me spit coffee on my computer screen- it was worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. ElyseDecember 17, 2009 at 1:55 PM

    LOL. I believe that Jesus thinks that was funny too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. LauraDecember 17, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    Cracked me up. All I know is you're having way more fun than I am!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Miss YvonneDecember 17, 2009 at 2:34 PM

    Pssshh. Whatevs, Jesus. Such a Debbie Downer.

    ReplyDelete
  13. TentCamperDecember 17, 2009 at 2:48 PM

    who knew?! At least you are keeping it real!!! Spose someone needs to teach them boys...might as well be you!

    ReplyDelete
  14. SpotDecember 17, 2009 at 2:54 PM

    I'm really happy Jesus doesn't just drop by like that at my house. That would be awkward. What's the penalty for sassing Jesus??

    And by the way Jesus, it's okay to look as long as you don't touch. Duh.

    ♥Spot

    ReplyDelete
  15. mrs.mfcDecember 17, 2009 at 3:01 PM

    HA!!! Love it when Jesus checks in!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. LaurenDecember 17, 2009 at 4:16 PM

    Ok this was hilarious. Im new to your blog and am so glad Im now following!

    ReplyDelete
  17. ShannonDecember 17, 2009 at 10:28 PM

    fabulous!

    ReplyDelete
  18. MelissaDecember 17, 2009 at 10:56 PM

    I just SO dig your blog. =)

    ReplyDelete
  19. BossySkeezahsDecember 18, 2009 at 1:57 PM

    Jesus is the reason for the season! Love your blog, sistah. L.O.L.

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousDecember 18, 2009 at 7:26 PM

    I think have that jesus photo on a mass card!

    ReplyDelete
  21. 3 PeanutsDecember 18, 2009 at 10:26 PM

    Very funny.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  23. Catcher in the RyeDecember 19, 2009 at 1:55 PM

    Thoroughly enjoyed, thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  24. UnknownDecember 19, 2009 at 4:18 PM

    When did being a cougar become a bad thing. All you want to do is witness to them, right?

    ReplyDelete
  25. MaggieDecember 19, 2009 at 7:06 PM

    Hilarious!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. UnknownDecember 21, 2009 at 3:18 PM

    I truly appreciate your candid converstations with jesus. They make me LOL! BTW, I actually saw an "LOL" belt buckle in the tween section of Wally World the other day! huh? What up?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Julie HDecember 22, 2009 at 4:28 PM

    Hahaha too funny :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Lisa-liciousJanuary 3, 2010 at 10:48 PM

    Dude, how great is Dr. Drew? I LOVE that show! Great post...makes me want some fresh meat!

    ReplyDelete
  29. lexylouJanuary 18, 2010 at 11:45 PM

    Okkaaaay, you are about my new favorite blogger. This has just solidified why you may be funnier than Dooce...

    ReplyDelete