More Twitter Recap

1. MEMO TO THOSE NOT FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER:
   I have compiled for you a samplingof the insightful, educational and thought-provoking morsels of genius that you are missing. After reading this, you will say either
   A) How have I missed out on this all this time orB) What a douche.
   Your call.
   
   
   
   
   Me to husband at open casket tonite: 'We Catholics kneel and pray." Husband of 13 years: "You're Catholic?"7:28 PM Aug 12th from twhirl
   
   
   
   
   
2. Newest follower of my blog's "About Me': "I like reading, photography, music, travel, people watching, porn."
   12:29 PM Aug 11th from web
   
3. What to do after Shark Week? I propose Worm Week. Who's with me.
   9:59 PM Aug 9th from twhirl
   
4. 8 year old: "Mom? I'm going out. I'll be on my scooter."
   7:05 PM Aug 9th from web
   
5. Considering outsourcing my next blog post to India.
   1:51 PM Aug 8th from web
   
6. Headed to the Apple store's 'Genius Bar". Cocky bastards.
   9:52 AM Aug 8th from twhirl
   
7. I have so much laundry to do I'm tempted to throw it out and buy new stuff.
   4:39 PM Aug 3rd from twhirl
   
8. Oh Lord the BlogHer09 pics have arrived. First one I opened was of a gay guy's cherry boxers. Am serious about my craft.
   10:57 AM Jul 29th from web
9. 
   8 year old: "I hate golf camp. All the kids tell me I'm holding the bat wrong."
   
   1. 8:25 AM Jul 23rd from twhirl
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
   2. True bizarre moment: Woman led by seeing eye dog in restaurant bathroom tonight complimented my daughter's flower on her toenail.
      10:04 PM Jul 20th from twhirl
      
   3. My editor just called. OK that's a lie. I don't have an editor. I just always wanted to say that. 7:56 PM Jul 19th from twhirl
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   5. After 2 margaritas, husband looks at me and goes 'You're a good woman." Putting Cuervo in his oatmeal tomorrow.
      6:37 PM Jul 18th from twhirl
      
   6. My sister in NYC just lost her nanny to Gisele and Tom Brady. That's like losing your husband to Angelina: who can compete with that?
      9:59 PM Jul 13th from twhirl
      
      8 year old: 'When you kidnap someone, do you use a net?8:03 AM Jul 13th from twhirl
      
      
      
      
      Dr. put me on new sleeping pill. Took it at  10 last nite, fell asleep at computer and walked into a wall. Can't decide if this is good or bad.3:13 PM Jul 9th from twhirl
      
      
      When a bromance breaks up: "Dudevorce".12:13 PM Jul 8th from twhirl
      
      
      
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         OK. So we're over the Michael Jackson thing, yes?10:56 AM Jul 8th from twhirl
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         2. Sparklers are like the geeks of the fireworks community.
         3. 1:39 PM Jul 4th from web
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            1. 8pm: Had a big rum and coke. 9pm:Did killer TV workout. 10pm: had cookies. Am retarded.9:10 PM Jun 26th from web
               
               
               
               
               
               
               
               That smoke detector chick is so non-
            committal it's like she knows it's only 
            Bagel Bites. "fire...  fire..   fire.. "      
            7:11 PM Jun 24th from twhirl
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               I thought having a sponsor for BlogHer meant someone who wouldn't let you drink too much.2:38 PM Jun 23rd from twhirl
               
               
               
               
               
               
               
            3. Sweet. It's only days til the Xmas ornaments 
               in my dining room switch from "late" to "early".11:01 AM Jun 23rd from twhirl
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               11 year old: "my cinnamon gum has lost so much flavor it tastes like ham."7:52 PM Jun 18th from twhirl
               
               
               
               
               
               1. Um, FYI? If you're looking to find out if Dick's has kids tennis clothes...it's NOT Dick's.com. Ew.7:22 PM Jun 14th from web
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
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                  Happy digital TV conversion day, everyone! That was exciting.10:02 AM Jun 12th from twhirl
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                  What if my follower 'SexyBigDickLeo' is a sexy guy named Leo who's just a jerk?5:16 PM Jun 5th from twhirl
                  
                  8 year old: "What's a stalker?" Me: "someone who calls you, follows you, won't leave you alone." Her: "Like you and me."3:05 PM Jun 4th from twhirl
                  
                  Follow Me!!!! Twitter.com/HappyHourSue
                  
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