My 8-year-old outed me on Mother's Day. To my husband. About my Twilight blog.
Christ on a cracker - can't second graders keep anything on the DL anymore?
OK, so I was a little less than forthcoming with my husband about my "other blog". But in my defense, he barely reads this blog and as we know he can't even get the title right.
Plus I'm already pushing it with Flat Edward and Action Figure Edward, so "Don't Ask- Don't Tell" seemed like the way to go regarding online tributes to obsessions with other men.
So here's how it went down.
I self-gifted myself a laptop for Mother's Day, which I opened with much fanfare and faux-surprise Sunday morning.
Husband: I set it up so your blog is your homepage.
8 y.o.: You should do her other blog too!
Me: I LOVE this card!!
Husband: What "other blog"?
Me: Who wants cinnamon rolls??
8 y.o.: "Inappropriate Twilight Obsession"!
Husband: You have a Twilight Obsession blog????????
Me: it's not really a BLOG...it's more updates on the filming of New Moon and casting news......
8 y.o.: Mommy wrote a post about the color of Robert Pattinson's eyes.
Me: OK. That's not necessary.
Note to self. 8 year olds make sucky confidantes.
Inappropriate Twilight Obsession:
"For Those Who Shouldn't Be Obsessed With Twilight. But Are."
Hahaha...My weekend has been absolutely crazy. Will post soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm constantly reminding my sweeties (or maybe my snarkies) not to share everything we talk about, but they blab blab blab.
ReplyDeleteLittle f**kers! Can't tell them anything!
ReplyDeleteI've adopted a don't ask, don't tell policy in my house. If the husband-unit asks what I'm reading, it's fan fiction, just something made up. If he complains, I offer up.. "I could go to Barnes and Noble if you don't want me reading online." That usually does the trick.
But I've learned a new stategy. Turn your children into accomplices. Just give them Twilight to read, next thing, they're Jones-ing for the next in the series. You can get the garage cleaned, laundry done, whatever you want with the mere threat of withholding literature.
And, they'll keep their mouths shut about it too! Especially, especially! if they're boys!
I love it when people I like, like you, make real dumb decisions---makes my faux pas seem so much nicer to me!
ReplyDelete"Christ on cracker" I really need to work that into the conversation.
ReplyDeleteThis whole post was hilarious!!
My kids and hubby know about my inappropriate Twilight obsession (and Ryan Gosling obsession) so no secrets there. However, I live under the constant fear of them telling their friends and friends' parents. That would be horrifying!!
The only thing 8 year olds can be relied on for is blowing your cover and not flushing. The end.
ReplyDeleteMy kids hate my Twilight obsession. Hubby deals with it, he knows what is great for him if he wants to stay married.
ReplyDeleteI freaking love Christ on a Cracker! That needs its own shirt!
You need you put a lid on the 8 year old or have a more clueless hubby like I have. He would be like Twilight what's that?
ReplyDelete"Christ on a Cracker" kills me EVERY SINGLE TIME, i cannot even explain to you how hard it makes me laugh LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteThis blog post had me rolling, I could so clearly envision you trying to evade the whole subject by frantically offering up distractions, i have SO been there!! LMAO!
This post made my night. I love you Sue!!!
don't you know that kids can't keep secrets, especially if they're girls? lol
ReplyDeleteOMG, Sue. You're gonna have to smack one down. *sigh* LOL Poor thing. She thought she was being supportive of your addiction. You've got her enabling at an early age, which means she'll stick you in a super NICE old folks home when the time comes--you know, the places where they actually turn you over from time to time. ;)
ReplyDeleteThis is a perfect argument for not having kids.
ReplyDeleteThey're cute and all, but they can't keep their tiny mouths shut!
hahaha! I wondered if your hubby knew about the other blog! Thats hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteKids...ugh. If they can't keep you in confidence...well, what good are they?
ReplyDeleteLoved this post.
HA.
ReplyDeleteI teach Second Grade Sunday School, and you should HEAR the things I know about the parents of my students.
...you're right...8 year olds cannot keep secrets.
Priceless! No secrets wth little ones around, that's for sure!
ReplyDeletefreaking hilarious! I stalk that blog like nobodies business!!
ReplyDeleteLOL well welcome to my world..your blog has gotten me in trouble with my husband many times..I have to clear my history...ITO is how I found this blog! giggles
ReplyDeleteMy three year old is a little tattle tale too! I can't take her shopping with me anymore unless I want my husband to know EVERYTHING that I spent money on!
ReplyDeleteoh man. i had hidden my Twilight obsession fairly well until 1) my husband found out I'd seen it 6 times in as many weeks IN THE MOVIE THEATRE - when we haven't seen a movie in the theatre together since the second Harry Potter. I indignantly asked, How is it any different than going out for a beer with my girlfriends? Ha!
ReplyDeleteand then my friend gave my Flat Edward...there was no hiding after that...
Please say this is not the end of Obsession..it makes my day! My husband has adopted Charlie Swan's approach..need to know basis only. I can lust after RPattz as much as I want, as long as he doesn't have to hear about it and he reaps the rewards of said lust..and that is so not a problem!
ReplyDeleteHAHA! I know how you feel. My two year old told my husband about the "bamppire book" I was secretly reading.
ReplyDeleteHilarious... I love that kids just don't get it when you're trying to hide something.
ReplyDeleteoh yes, yes they do, so do 10 and 3 year olds!
ReplyDeleteI will remember that, never tell things to a second grader. thanks.
ReplyDeleteLMAO - loved the conversation. hehe. That was precious. Sooo, I take it he doesn't like the "other blog"??
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie, sounds more like BUH-STED to me! LOL My hubby almost never reads me either... Kinda sucky, but gives us more posting freedom, eh?
ReplyDeleteAnd may I just say to Marge... it's only hilarious cause it didn't happen to you!
I pay mine off with toys to keep their mouths shut.
ReplyDeleteIt has worked perfectly...but they are only 5 and 3.
Yeah, 8-year-olds don't keep secrets well...goddammit.
ReplyDeleteOh well. Maybe hubby will have to get all buff and stuff now. :o)
hee hee! i guess this means i don't have to feel so guilty when my hubby sees me reading that blog... cause yours didn't even know about it!!!
ReplyDeleteHoly Edward! You handled it well under the pressure, I must say. Have you tried bribes? I know they work wonders on my kids....
ReplyDeleteThis is why I don't talk to my kids.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!! Mr. Lipstick is just tired of hearing about Twilight because I can't keep my freaking mouth shut about it.
ReplyDeleteand im sure that last post on the "other blog" won't work in your favor.
ReplyDeletebest of luck with that one:)
Great post! My husband makes fun of me for my love of Twilight! I have recently determined that 8-9 year olds are no longer little kids and full of attitude. It would make sense that they can't keep secrets.
ReplyDeleteMy 16 year old son kinda gets the things that Dad says around his buddies are not nessecary to share with Mom...but unfortunately every once in awhile he shares it with his younger brothers that seem to have a pipline to Mom.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff...this is why I vist your Blog.
Trying to get your Blog on 1000 awesome things. One new awesome thing a day.
http://1000awesomethings.com/
I feel so out of the loop. I have to go check out the "other" blog...
ReplyDeleteI get busted all the time by my offspring...now that they can spell, it's all over.
Roo is ALWAYS trying to read your blog over my shoulder to see what I am laughing at.
i haven't read the Twilight series or seen the movie. i am devoted to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. i can't deviate from them. i don't think Rob Patt is attractive either. ladies told me i just need to see the movie to experience the love story. is that true? take care.
ReplyDelete-kiki
I'm guessing the "Places you'd like to be post" re: RPattz would be a real dealbreaker for Hubs? LOL You could always tell him that RPattz makes you think of him. In fact, I bet Robbie would love your hubby's Homer slippers.
ReplyDeleteYou're the best.
LOL yes they do! My 8 year old rats me out ALL the time! I'm a sucker for all things twilight too.. and I'd probably hide that from my husband. He doesn't need to know EVERYTHING. :p
ReplyDeleteClearly you would have been busted school open house tonight anyway...cute 8 year old may have done you a favor :)
ReplyDeleteThat does suck!!! However, I find it to be funny.
ReplyDeleteVery funny, my kids would do the very same thing!
ReplyDeleteTis why I tell my children as little as possible.
ReplyDeleteAlso why I'm a closet Twilight freak.
Laughing out loud hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteTHIS WAS HILARIOUS! Serisously...is the 8 y/o Linda Tripp!?!?!?
ReplyDeleteChrist on a cracker? totally rofl... Sorry you got outed. Can't tell kids anything. lil crappers. ;)
ReplyDeleteOkay, this is hilarious! (Personally, I need to start a blog called Inappropriate Webkinz Obsession, but I know where you are coming from.) I am linking to your Twilight site on my blog because I have a few friends who will be very interested....
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving Feast
LOL! Girl - I sure have missed ya while I've been offline. Luv the offer for cinnamon rolls!
ReplyDeleteoh, man! SO busted. And I thought it was bad when I forgot that my husband sees every bloody thing I post on facebook and saw how many Hugh Jackman's fan pages I joined (a dozen or so) and that he was in first place on my list of "Celebrities I have crushes on" which was remarkably fun even though it made me feel like I was 17 (or maybe because of that) and then my husband, the comic book freak, the one who turned ME into a comic book freak, said he wouldn't go see Wolverine with me because he thought I was only going to ogle at Hugh Jackman's muscles and his naked glory (ok, that was my paraphrase, he put it differently). Wraths.
ReplyDeleteYeah... my husband is SO OVER my crush on the whole Twilight franchise. I'm sneaking my fixes now!
ReplyDeleteKids will always be kids..
ReplyDeleteFound your blog from the antisupermom blog. And soooo glad I did.
ReplyDeleteNow I am off to check out your inappropriatetwilightobsession blog because I am obsessed with it too. And I am not a teenage girl. (Although when I see anything Twilight related I do tend to scream like one!)
~Lori