Hey, kids! More fun with Google Analytics!
I know I just did a Keyword Korner last month, but it's like the gift that keeps on giving.
(Cliff Notes: Google Analytics gives you detailed info on your blog traffic - most awesomely, words or phrases that people typed into Google, that landed them on your blog.)
Also, I did not make this stuff up: anyone who doubts its validity just email me and I'll give you my GA password.
OK:
"What is that little bag next to my pee pee"
Mom, you might want to install some child-security software.
"starting to get hair on my peenie"
OK, ALL moms- security software STAT.
"blogspot MILF soup"
Dude- are you hungry or horny.
"Halloween meals with no eggs"
Oooh. That's a tough one. ALL my Halloween meals are made with eggs.
"Tweeting my ass off"
OK, yes, I'll own that one...BTW to follow me on Twitter, just click over there-->
"Joe Jonas Sue Chardonnay"
Love this - clearly someone who wants to get to my blog but can't remember the title.
"Joe Jonas unibrow"
WHAT?! How dare you. Look at this picture:
OK. Wrong picture.
Look at THIS picture:
You are WRONG, unibrow-accuser.
"Milf with black men"
What, no soup?
"chubby MILF"
Hey!!! Why'd they send you to ME?
"oh is happy hour still makes me so good spen my time i'll broken heart happy happy hours."
Um..........Dude? I don't think you really understand Google- maybe you should try a chat room. Or Adult Friend Finder.
Just watch out for Christie Brinkley's ex.
Har! You're killin' me! This is freakin' hilarious... I'm scared to look at my analytics. But I realize I do enjoy saying "analytics." Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteBack soon...I'm off to follow you on Twitter now!
[Did that sound stalky? I didn't mean it stalky.]
:^) Anna
PS - Thanks for adding me to your blogroll, sista!
ReplyDeleteXO
A.
lol...you get so much better stuff than I do. I'm jealous...I think.
ReplyDeleteI love that first I mean both photos of JJ!!
ReplyDeleteMy oldest caught on to my inappropriate crush on him and teases me daily, and her friends are even in on it.
*blush*
G'd Heather Locklear...sorry it did not direct me to your site.
ReplyDeleteBATHTUB GANGSTA did!
Copy right ASAP
HaHa! I get the most random things too.
ReplyDeleteBlogspot Milf Soup- my fav! was it egg drop soup that you had as a Halloween treat?
ReplyDeletei have "swiffer cyanide"
ReplyDelete....freaks.
but yeah, nothing beats MILF soup... i like to add a few dashes of salt to mine, but not too much you'll turn it sour.
I think chubby milf was for me... next time send them my way.
ReplyDeletelol! I love a good keyword korner! I've started checking my GA obsessively!! Way to refute the unibrow accusation, that was a close one!
ReplyDeleteIf my kid hadn't just woken up from his nap, he totally would have when I read this and literally laughed out loud, over and over, and couldn't stop. But luckily he did.
ReplyDeleteMy search terms are great this time of year...Headless? Most are looking for costumes. I know they are sorely disapointed!
ReplyDeletethx for showing joe jonas's finest 'ass'et. it's so grab-able hehehe
ReplyDeleteThe "tweeting my ass off" thing is not working for me... I really did try, too! So, it's back to the "dreadmill". Will twitter tonight if I get a chance...hope to see you posting then...miss y'all!
ReplyDeleteI must do this...
ReplyDeleteHow do I do this?
That is too funny! I wish there were also pics of the peeps that typed these "phrases" into the search engine.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha, I'll claim one of those...Maybe the last one needs a grammar and spell checker too, or needs to quit hitting the bottle.
ReplyDeleteMine are not nearly as fun.
You mean I too can have a crush On Joe and not be ashamed??? Must look at my analytics as well. I wonder if people google me what they would find.
ReplyDeleteAhh, Joe Jonas... the ONLY reason I did not completely mind watching Camp Rock with my 2 year old.
ReplyDeleteHe's starting to compete with Shia Leboeuf for my "cradle-robbing hottie" campaign.
Oh, my life is so, so sad... Heh.
I've been glued to my Goggle Analytics every morning ever since you mentioned it. I love it but am a bit obsessed. I did, however, forget to see what linkwords come my way, but I'm sure they're nothing like yours - I'm just a craft blog!
ReplyDeleteYou're a hoot. I really love reading your posts. -- Michele
Peenie? HAHA Now that's a new name I've never heard before.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm glad they found you with Sue Chardonnay. Someone knows you very well.
MILF soup? LMAO. Good one.
ReplyDeleteJenn
Awesome! Milf Soup? And that would that be exactly?
ReplyDeleteYou are soo funny!! I didnt know about Google Analytics! I want one!
ReplyDeleteToo funny! And yet another reminder that there are CREEPY people in the world!
ReplyDeleteHAH...that is sick and funny at the same time!
ReplyDeleteeeewwww, you know some 12 yr old boy found you with the hair on the wiener thing!
ReplyDeleteI think Joe's almost uni brow is part of his rustic charm!
ReplyDeleteAh Sue I have joined your club of loving younger men. At least my lover is only 4 years younger though. LOL I am in love with Robert Pattinson who is Edward Cullen in the Twilight movie.
ReplyDeleteSue+Joe
Tiff+Rob
=true love
Yea I sound like I'm 12 huh? LOL
LOL! I'm off the google "google analytics" now. Must have it!
ReplyDeleteI had one
ReplyDelete"love you long time"
I have no idea.
LOL! You get all the BEST weirdos...
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I love the "Joe Jonas Sue Chardonnay" one!
ReplyDeleteAnd I feel bad for #2 (the "I'm starting to get hair on my..." you know what! I can't say it! one). He needs his dad to sit him down & tell him about puberty.
Or maybe his mom should just rent one of those free rental movies from Blockbuster about it. That's what my mine did!
holy crap where do these people come from!? LMAO!
ReplyDeleteyou must get a lot of drunk people f-ing around on google...
my GA has yet to give me anything cool...then again, i'm still getting no comments :(
Have a good weekend!
That is hilarious!! :)
ReplyDeleteLove this post!
ReplyDeleteI've been meaning to do one of these forever.
OK, forever being that now I've actually got a whole list of keyword searches, and some of them are pretty hilarious.
I imagine you get some fabulous ones (these were!) - I vote for Monthly Keyword Korner!
You've inspired me to put this on my blogging agenda for the week.
Did I just actually say blogging agenda?
That is too funny! I laughed so hard that I couldn't even read it to my husband!
ReplyDeleteI recently had "Best Family Gettysburg" show up. Why, yes, thank you- we are. Will we receive crowns and sashes?
ReplyDeleteAnd, um, I saw an alligator was found in the river near you. Talk about blog fodder...
Here's some fodder for you...There's a commercial on TV for "Savorings" frozen appetizers and the tag line is "Bring Happy Hour Home." I couldn't help but think of you. Just think, everyone could have a little HHSue of their own, right from the freezer!
ReplyDeleteI love these. Now I'm off to go do my own....
ReplyDelete