Put on your Spanx and get yourself a spray tan because it's Awards Time! I don't mean "love your blog" awards (love getting them, suck at the re-gifting part). These are awards I made up with design skills bordering on breathtaking. First up: The "Cringies".
You know what I'm talkin' about: Any celebrity, photo or show that gives you the "douche-chills". (think presidential candidate boogying to their theme song).
OK! Recipient #1 :Mario Lopez.
Right hand to God, this is not photoshopped. It's from People magazine. 'Nuf said.
The next award goes to the duo of Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb on their new cringe-fest that is the "Fourth Hour" of The Today Show. I watch, but I can't watch, but I can't not watch. Mainly I'm concerned for Hoda becoming a douche-by-association.
And the last Cringy goes to Ann "I'm enthralled with you" Curry.
I've never seen anyone with the ability to make every interview virtually un-watchable. Please Ann, for love of humanity, stick to the news.
NOW comes the bloggy love:
I've created the "Blogging Purple Heart"
The Blogging Purple Heart shall go to any blogger who risks life, limb or dignity for the sake of entertaining their readers. I created this award with one person in mind: Tena from My Therapy. Tena has a hunky brick-layer working at her house named Hot Boy and she keeps trying to take pictures of him, telling him she's taking 'before' and 'after' shots of the patio. So he keeps trying to get out of her way. Which makes me die laughing every time I think about it. Go visit Tena - she is funny and she tells it like it is.
It's not easy sacrificing your dignity for your blog. I should know: I take photos of a gangsta doll at Stop n' Shop.
You are cracking me up :)
ReplyDeleteI love Tena, too! Every time I read about Hot Boy, I picture him scrambling around, trying to get out of the camera's line of vision!! And Tena trying to be non-chalant about it all - LOL!
There is something completely wrong with the Mario photo. Proportions are off somehow. Creeping me out. And yes, cringe-worthy. This from a chick who completely appreciates a fine set of abs. Mario - you can keep yours.
ReplyDeleteAnd after a second glance - is that a freakin' diaper?
ReplyDeleteAlice: I know - it has that Photoshop look - but I took a photo of the magazine page: he was "recreating famous sex symbol shots" like Brad Pitt's character in thelma & Louise etc. This was "Blue Lagoon". And yes, that is a diaper.
ReplyDeleteGreat awards! What is the deal with Mario??? Yes, he's good eye candy...but not much else going on with him...I just don't like men that cheat!
ReplyDeleteMario Lopez is happy being asexual, he ruined a marriage and a 'normal' relationship, what is his deal? I bet he kisses each of his muscles goodnight.
ReplyDeleteTena is the BOMBDIGGITY (am I too old to say that?) Hot Boy rocks.
LOL - I believe that Hoda Kotb may become a douche by association.
ReplyDeleteI will have to check Tena out. Don't know that I've been there.
These awards are GREAT!!
I think you and Tena are great for sacrificing yourselves just to make us laugh. We love y'all and let's see where the gangsta goes next. And WTF is up with mario?
ReplyDeleteGreat new award and oh my those sure are cringy photos, especially Mario. shudder.
ReplyDeleteI crack up everytime I listen to Ann reporting on the MOST. AMAZING. STORY. EVER. And I often wonder if she ever runs a brush through her hair.
ReplyDeleteYou're too kind! I guess we both go above and beyond (the line of decency)- oh well! Thanks! I will display it proudly!
ReplyDeleteLOL ... loved that. Yeah, Hoda seems to have dignity ... I'm sure that will fade if she keeps hanging with Kathy.
ReplyDeleteLove the new award, that's too funny. I'll have to check out her blog.
Mario- scary pic, hope he gets potty trained REAL soon.
ReplyDeleteKathie Lee-- Have you seen her recent clip on The Soup? she's creepy anymore! Hoda is in trouble.
Ann Curry--another great person that Soup makes fun of on a weekly basis so you are right on target again!
Congrats on the award...i'm sad cuz i just found out i got one and i don't even have 5 people to pass it on to---and you got the same one so does that mean i can't pass it on to you again!?!? come on!! you don't mind having TWO of the same right? Would you pass on a SECOND Oscar?? i think NOT!
Ann Curry makes me throw up in mouth a little and want to poke my eyes out with toothpicks.
ReplyDeleteTHANK GOD they did not hand her the coveted co-anchor position.
Love Matt Lauer. LOVE HIM!
I'm on my way to go check out Tena's blog...
ok i did it...i bestowed upon you the same award you already got this week. OH WELL. you are so funny and i can't NOT give it to you just cuz someone else did... So consider yourself a two-time- Emmy-Award-winner-like-person and enjoy the spotlight. Just keep up the good work w/ this friggin funny blog you have here...
ReplyDeletehys. ter. i. cal and yet oddly disgusting at the same time....the photos I mean. Especially mario.
ReplyDeleteRedoing Blue Lagoon are we?
And, Tena is a riot. I love her sense of reality.
What a hoot! I am seriously NEVER going to be able to look at Mario in the same way again. Ick, ick and double ick. Kathie Lee....PLEASE...what a joke!
ReplyDeleteKathy Lee is a TRAINWRECK! I love it!
ReplyDeleteAnd as for Mario, he's fun to lok at, but I could never lick him...he is probably CRAWLING with panty crickets!
You are SO funny! Totally agree on the Mario Lopez picture. I had the People magazine and it made me cringe when I saw it the first time.
ReplyDeletethat mario picture is terrible! yuck!
ReplyDeleteand now i have to go read tena so i can be in the know about hot boy!
good grief i have a lot of blogs to read!
I agree with Britanny... Kathie Lee is just a wreck you can't look away from.
ReplyDeletePlease post new things so that the photo of Mario will retreat down the page into the land of archives.... please.
ReplyDeleteI never expected to see a Depends and six-pack combo. What was Mario thinking? I look hot in this diaper?
ReplyDeleteSo, I'm not sure how I wound up over here, but I think I'll hang... I mean, the car wreck that is that Mario Lopez shot is reason enough for me to set up camp here.
ReplyDeleteGreat choices for your little awards. Must go check out Tena's blog. Sounds like a woman after my own heart ha ha.
ReplyDelete*shiver* Mario Lopez is so cringe worthy... eeee
ReplyDeleteBlog Hopping and you are great! I haven't started blogging yet(cause I'm just a little chicken) but I'm so getting me a gangsta for when I do. Adding you to my reader.
ReplyDeleteWorthy awards every one.
ReplyDeleteAnd I get what you're saying about the Fourth Hour "I watch, but I can't watch, but I can't not watch."
YES!!! I feel my stomach turn. It's like an ad for Bulimia.
Wonderful award for Tena. She's very worthy!
Too funny! Maybe bathroom gangsta needs to hook up with hot boy and do a photo shoot!
ReplyDeleteDamn! My spanx are in the shop.
ReplyDeleteCan we get some Zac Morris in a banana hammock up in here! Hi. Just found you,love what I see. I'll be back. Come visit me some time.
lmao @ douche by association.
ReplyDeletei can't stand kathie lee...and mario is creepy.