Marriage Math

To my husband: Nothing to see here, Honey, just us girls talking about, you know, cramps and stuff. Move along.....Look! the U.S. Open is on!

OK. This is for all the newlywed girls out there. Remember how your fiancé was all involved and excited about helping you pick out stuff to register for? That's because he was spending other people's money. Now that you're married you need to master the 3 Marriage Math Moves.

Move #1: "The Round-Down".

So, let's say you buy a rug for $179. Your husband asks how much it cost. You answer:

A) $179

B) $170

C) "about $140"

The answer is C, "about $140". He's going to get the credit card bill eventually, no need to aggravate him twice. It's all about softening the blow. Because you care.

Move #2: "The Save"

You buy a patio set for $275. Your husband asks how much it costs. You answer:

A) $275

B) $270

C) "the same set in the Pottery Barn catalog was $700 and this was only $275".

The answer is C. Shift the focus from spending money to saving money. You have just saved him $425. You are thrifty and thoughtful and you rock.

Move #3: "The Bagless Shop".

You go shopping and come home with several shopping bags of awesome stuff. You 

A) Bring all the bags right in and dump them in the kitchen

B) Shout "Hey Honey! look what I got!"

C) Wait to move your purchases in until he's not around. Then dispose of the bags.

Answer: C. The "woman holding several shopping bags" visual is genetically programmed to send the male's alarm bells off. No evidence = everybody's happy.

So good luck girls, happy shopping and remember the answer to "Is that new?" is always: "This? Nah".