Sunday, November 7, 2010

See? All I Needed Was An Extra Hour's Sleep. Also: This Post Has Lesbians.

Voilá, I'm back.

I have a theory that my whole brain goes on Daylight Savings in the Spring, and that's why I get writer's block.

Thanks a lot, Ben Franklin. Great idea. You maybe coulda used that extra hour each day inventing the condom, then you wouldn't have gotten syphilis.

First, can I just tell you why I love Bruno Mars? ("Just the Way You Are") No, not because of the song...Because he got busted for cocaine possession and this was his mugshot:
As my 10 year old said, "It looks like his school picture."

Oh. but: Stay in School...Hugs not Drugs...Just Say No.

Ha. I just realized Nike's slogan is Just Do It. You can see how it could get confusing.


Anyway. My Public Service Announcement for the day is: If you want to find Dick's Sporting Goods online..it's not Dicks.com. Like ...it's SO not Dicks.com.

and I just need to know this:

Guys. What is it with the lesbian fascination.
















No.......they really don't.

As far as I can tell, they really are goin out of their way to NOT deal with you.

They would rather buy a plastic appendage made in China than deal with your anatomy.

There are entire CRUISES for lesbians...whose sole purpose is to relieve them from having to interact with you in any way.

Top selling lesbian porn movie?: "Where The Boys Aren't (10)".
Top consumer of "Where The Boys Aren't"? Boys.

I suspect you think they're playing playing hard to get....

C'mon - let's hear your theories...we all have an extra hour.

8 comments:

ciara said...

those douches are hoping those chicks are bisexual. some guys also don't know how to separate fantasy from reality. there are prob a million other theories lol

SumSum said...

Do these plastic appendages made in China mow the lawn or open really tight jar lids because I might be interested...

Raquel's World said...

Yeah, why are guys so turned on by women that want nothing to do with them?

MrsSki said...

Yet, if you show them gay porn they have a conniption. The hypocrisy men show in that situation is palpable.

OH and that mug shot DID look like his high school photo. Who smiles in a mug shot anyways?

Rach said...

I have TOTALLY gone to dicks.com looking for Dicks Sporting Goods. Who would have thought? Oh, and I own "Where the Boys Aren't" and I'm married (to a guy) and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! :)

chnault said...

I think men, in general just can't imagine how their woman can live without all their awesomeness.

Deluded thinking is what it is.

www.sasstown.com

Jessica said...

You say Daylight Saving and all I can think is hibernation!! Maybe we can start turning into bears during the fall LOL!!
And OH!!! I learned the hard way about Dicks Sporting Goods... the funny thing was that I was at work!! OHNO!!!!!!

HAPPY WEEK!!!

Sarah said...

I just have to say your posts make my day! I was having a shittastic one and read this and I am laughing at my desk. Thank YOU. LMAO too funny.