Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Juggle Fail = Porn in Your Comments

















OK.

I know.

I haven't posted since Saturday.

But you guys. I am so not a juggler - you know if I get thrown that extra ball it all comes crashing down.

This particular ball was titled "Your 9-year-old has a part in the high school musical and you'll be at rehearsals every night from 6-10pm. Good luck with that."

So here is my laundry room :




















...and thanks to a heads up from my faithful reader Linda, I missed THIS comment left on my blog regarding my last post (and I quote:)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

He swallowed, eyes still closed, as she wrapped her hand around his slippery, wet shaft. He stood still, letting them look their fill as they slowly filed into the room. Unfortunately, that included using Eyrhaen as a lodestone, both for Herself and for Her people. They stayed on their knees, slapping each others arms aside as they struggled for purchase. The stone beneath her clutching fingers started to crumble.
March 3, 2010 9:49 AM



Umm.....what?  Who are you people?

In other fail news, I took a Valium on an empty stomach Monday morning because of a doctor visit I was nervous about.

Metabolism fail.

The details of everything I did from 9-12 are pretty sketchy at this point.....but a review of my texts revealed that I did do some shopping...and I'm the proud new owner of some big-ass earrings that apparently seemed like a stellar idea at the time.

The following is an actual transcript - no lie- of my texts to my friend Sharon:

March 1st 9:34 am
holy crap may hav over-tranquilized. in the office....spaaaaaaaaaaacy

(Sharon to me)
Mar 1st 9:49 am
Do u need a ride?

Mar 1st 11:01 am
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? im  home-bougjt shoes and earrins blaming on the valoium






34 comments:

Jazz said...

oooh they're aerosoles... Shoes are always good, no matter what your state.

sharon said...

Yes, I can confirm that I did in fact receive that text, of which I thought you were kidding! Can you come over for drinks now?

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

OMG cute earri...I mean, WTF Sue?!! HAHAHA!!

That porn was so hot in a Lord of the Rings kind of way. Mmmm lodestone.

♥ Kathy said...

That porn was way better than my Japanese spammer that I had to go to Google translate to see what she said! LOL and no more shopping while stoned! (Even though the shoes are TOTALLY CUTE!!)

reese said...

wow you make me feel better b/c my laundry room looks just like that - I can't get a grasp on it!!

SueMac said...

Aerosoles........ love them!!!!!! Maybe you can use the earrings for a Halloween costume? Perhaps the valium made you foresee the future!

A Real Housewife said...

i'm with kathy...i'll take the porn over the japanese spammer i get everyday!!! but what the eff is a lodestone?!

A Mother's Thoughts said...

OK, so the soft porn post HILLARIOUS! It's true...is that categorized as spam, or did some lovely out there actually take the time to write that up? That's crazy....I wonder if they were looking for a reaction, or to be a superstar on your blog? Some people's horny kids!

Lynn

PaperCourt said...

I'm laughing so hard that I have nothing to say.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

WTF is right! Those are hideous. Like chandeliers for Bathtub Gangsta's pimped out crib.

Send them to me. I...won't...be caught dead....wearing them.

atall.

Aleta said...

LMAO. OK, wow to the comment. Never had someone leave that on my blog. Takes guts, nerve, stupidity, something along those lines. And too funny about the shoes and earrings and texts!!

Rochelle said...

Those shoes rock but you need to donate the earrings to a needy teenager.

The Mayor said...

That self soothing on an empty stomach thing...never a good thing.

You would think we would know that by now. Unfortunately what ever we are experiencing at the time often makes us to anxious to take that in to account.

At least you didn't end up in jail, that's something to be thankful for.
And the cute shoes.

Michelle said...

Wow, play with nightly rehearsals, that sounds like a big deal.

Lipstick said...

ok, I have totally collapsed in laughter over "the lodestone" and oh yes...those earrings. A WTF is definitely in order.

So did you go to Claire's or one of those cheap jewelry teenage places in the mall? Awww hell, you don't know.

Laura said...

This seriously made me laugh, laugh hard! Sorry about the musical practice, that stuff wears me out too!

Vanessa Rogers said...

I get those crazy comments as well!! I don't understand it either.

Lisa-licious said...

If I ever get a winery, I am going to name it "Lodestone". Too funny!

I have the same shoes on the left in black leather!!! So comfy!

Be careful with "TUI"..."texting under the influence"...TROUBLE!!! TRUST ME ON THIS!!!

Can't help you with the laundry room, but if/when your daughter is a famous actress someday, she will appreciate all you went through to support her. You are a good mom!!

Keely said...

Hm, I got one of those comments too. Maybe this is some kind of puzzle to put together...

Former Fat Chick said...

wow, really SUE? MORE CLOGS! (is that what your hubs said?)

Loveable Loser said...

Sue,

First, I hope that everything is OK and the visit was just to review your Valium addiction!

B. The 80's called and they want the earrings back...I believe Pat Benatar is upset

3. Sorry the shoes got to go, did they have a 2 for 1 on the buckels! Ok My bad...that was snotty

PS. At least your laundry room is like that not the kids room...like mine!

PSS. It was a hot steamy night when Carlos entered the room....

Dezzy Lou Where Are You said...

I have been on darvocet the last 3 weeks so needless to say its all been one giant blur!

Gina said...

I had one of those romance novel excerpt comments once. Mine mentioned loins.

AmyLK said...

Those are cute shoes!

Keyona said...

That was the BEST comment ever!

Anonymous said...

Hey LL,
You forgot to add "and Carlos slowly wipes off the sweat while saying
Miss Sue the pool, she is clean... Is there anything you need?

Sue; why yes the laundry room could use a man's touch!

ciara said...

i'll take the big ass earrings ;0) lol damn, my life is a total bore compared to yours. no drugs, no porn, no big ass earrings & cute shoes. WHAT is wrong w this picture? lmao

randomblogette said...

That also looks like my laundry room! And we do laundry just about every day. Totally cute shoes though..and I actually love the earrings!! I am a fan of big earrings though!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

OK, first: How come you get all the good comments? I need more porn on my blog, obviously.
Second: Awesome shoes! I also love those earrings, I think.
Third: I also obviously need a prescription for Valium. It would make explaining purchases to my husband much easier.

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