Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I Miss U, Pluto



It was 2 years ago today that the Solar System was all: "Pluto, I'm just not that into you."

And bam- Pluto was officially dropped as a planet. Like the Michael Anthony of the solar system. One minute you're on stage jamming with Eddie Van Halen and the next minute you've been replaced by a chubby teenager named Wolfie. 

Saturn: Hey, Dude.

Pluto: Hey.

Saturn: Sorry about the whole "downsizing" thing. I totally had your back, but... 

Pluto: It's cool - I've been really busy consulting. I may be putting my own solar system together...

Saturn: Sweet.  Um, Neptune told me you've been reclassified as a "dwarf planet".

Pluto: We prefer "little planet" or "mass-challenged".

Saturn: My bad.

Pluto: It's cool. So what about the mnemonic device ? Remember?: "My Very Elegant Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas"? How are kids going to remember the planet names now?

Saturn: Uh...Uranus has been saying "Useless Nerdy Jerkoff Masses Exit My Victorious Solar System. Leave off the last 'S' for 'sucker'."

Pluto: Uranus is an asshole.



40 comments:

threeboys1mommy said...

Bravo! Very funny. I still feel kind of bad for Pluto. My kids still have this Blues Clues toy that plays The Planet Song, they've learned by heart. What am I supposed to do now?

McMommy said...

Uranus has asshole written all over him.

JenniBeanV said...

:::snort::: Uranus is an asshole. Bahahahahahahaha!

Merrie said...

"Busy consulting."

LOL!

Jennifer said...

Pluto is still a planet to me! I just can't seem to cross him off my planet list.

Drowsey Monkey said...

LOL ... Uranus ... too funny.

Ann said...

Brilliant!
(And I had no idea about Michael Anthony! I just Googled and found out all kinds of things.
How WEIRD!)

Leslie said...

You are a riot! Loving it!! :) :)

Gettysburg Mom said...

So, how is it you have kids and are able to articulate all sorts of funny stuff- and Me? I have kids and am unable to finish my sentences any longer? I just sort of trail....

The Mom said...

Uranus is such a hole!

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

LMAO...Sue, once again freaking hilarious!!!

Little planet or mass-challenged - hehe*snort*

Heather said...

My kiddo has the Bluestock ep of Blue's Clues permanently occupying DVR space, so she knows that Planet song that threeboys1mommy mentioned above.

I refuse to tell her that Pluto isn't a planet anymore. Let her teachers explain this revisionist astronomy when she's in school. Humph.

And also, LOL at the post. I LOLed enough to disturb my hubby who is trying to actual work on his computer (right next to mine). Actual work - humph again!

Cheers!

Tami said...

Little planet....too funny!

You are freakin' hilarious!!

Alicia said...

Dang, you are smart AND funny! I still call Pluto a planet. I don't think it's fair to take his title away after all these years. He didn't do anything wrong. They've should've had their figures right in the first place!

deconstructing jen said...

oh my. I spit soda on myself when I read that last line. very nice. ;)

georgie said...

OMGosh tooo funny Uranus=asshole right?

Mr Lady said...

Dude, you crack me up more than is proper. Just thought you should know.

jill jill bo bill said...

You never cease to amuse my fat lumpy ass. BTW, I mentioned you in my latest post, but too mentally handicapped to know how to link you in the right way.

ciara said...

lmfreakinao....poor pluto. not his fault he was born mass-challenged.

Lipstick said...

"little planet" and "mass challenged" is near genius. this post has made me LOL...three times!

Debbie said...

I would love to be in your brain for just five minutes...to see how all of this is processed and spit out...sooo soo funny! Thanks for the science lesson...

Becca said...

Pluto is still included in the solar system mobile I got for my son at Pottery Barn Kids and also on the Poster I recently bought from Allposters.com. He's still around. I don't think he's going anywhere! ;)You are too funny. I highly enjoy your blog!

Brittany said...

Awww...poor Pluto. he's like the the guy from the Beatles who left before they hit it big:(

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Ha! Love it!

But I never really liked Pluto as a planet, anyway. I mean, in sixth grade we learned, "Mary's Violet Eyes Make John Stay Up Nights, Period." And what sixth-grade girl wants to say the word "period" out loud?

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Thanks for stopping by! If you go to your Google profile page and make your e-mail address public, people (like me!) can respond directly to your comments.

BusyDad said...

You are the most random person in the universe. And in my world, that makes you one of the big planets.

Meg said...

LOL! I think Pluto as a planet is here to stay just like Columbus discovering American.

HappyHourSue said...

testing out my new "not so emo" avatar

Alice said...

Hey...I can't come right after you testing an avatar!

Pluto will ALWAYS be a planet in my 1970's mind.

creative-type dad said...

I AM NOT CHUBBY!!

-Wolfie

Blessings From Above said...

Okay, where have I been? I had no idea Pluto was no longer a planet.

Not only is your blog funny, but also educational! Just this week you have taught me what a girlie wallet is and that poor little Pluto is no longer a planet.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Man. I feel like I should pour a foil packet of crushed astronaut ice cream on the steps of the Franklin Institute for my homie Pluto. Cause he's forever in my heart, yo.

I am Boymom said...

Meanwhile, Uranus is all:
"What? C'mon dude, you know I'm just messin with ya."

Pluto: "Ananussayswhat?"
Uranus: "WHAT?"
Pluto and Saturn: "Bwahahhahaha ha!!!"

Rochelle said...

Too funny!

joanharvest said...

I got here through "threeboys1mommy". I'm glad I came. I am an amateur astronomer and Pluto will always be a planet to me. Your post was hilarious. Great Job!!

Linney Shvede said...

Thanks for making me laugh! Pluto hasn't done that since my kids were like 4...

melissa said...

i can't even type a comment i'm laughing so hard!! 3boys1mommy sent me over here...
roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!

Val @ Stinky said...

Thanks for the tip....honestly did not know that. Have to chalk that one up there with just recently learning that washington, dc was NOT in washington state. Needed someone to actually show it to me on the map!

What a teacher you are!

Kelli said...

hahahahahaha! Love this whole dialogue. You ever thought about writing for science text books? haha!
The Solar System was my favorite thing to teach my fourth graders...Pluto was the easiest one for them to remember.

Poor Pluto - you will always be the ninth planet to me!

~annie said...

It took me about a year to come to grips with the whole Pluto thing, but when I sub in 2nd or 3rd grade now they talk about Pluto like it's a planet from the "olden days." Some have never heard of Pluto!

Your dialogues are so clever.

Gotta love a good Uranus joke.